17 September 2019

Dear Sister.....1988 - 2019

If there’s one thing you have taught me these past few weeks, it’s that everything can be snatched away in seconds without any warning at all!

I majorly regret not coming in to say goodbye before the coroners took you away, but since you arrived at the Chapel Of Rest I have been in to see you most days, I even managed to put some tinted moisturiser on you and then your other sister and cousin came in to do the rest of your makeup to make you look more like you.

This past week has really made me think long and hard, and that I need to start living my life somehow before it’s snatched away like your life was because right now I’d swap places with you in a heartbeat so daisy could have her mummy back!

Those that know me well, know I suffer really badly with social anxiety and have absolutely 0% confidence to do that one thing to other people, and for me to put that bit in this when half of the people on my Facebook don’t even know is a really big deal for me!

So I will promise you this now Kayleigh, if I can find that one person who isn’t family that I can trust 1000% and be completely open to and won’t make a big deal of that one thing, then I will somehow try my hardest to do that, whether it takes me weeks, months or even a year however scary it may be for me!

And I’m finally watching all these videos with sound on that people have put up and it’s finally hit me hard that we will never see you again or hear that dirty laugh of yours and it’s bloody horrible! You was the life and soul of any party going and you would always be the last one on the dancefloor even if the music had stopped hours ago.

You will also be happy to know I have already been to see the doctor and got a referral for the heart tests to be done, so hopefully, I won't be waiting long for that appointment to come through. We also promise you that along with Adam, your 8 year old daughter will be brought up to make you proud in the way you would have wanted to bring her up yourself.

Until we get to meet again, sleep tight in your forever bed in heaven, and for now nan will look after you up there, just don't be giving her too much stick will ya, otherwise, she will trip you up with her walking stick haha

This is still all too raw for me to talk about properly, but I promise you we are gonna give you the best send-off ever on the day of your funeral on the 2nd of October.

Lots of love always,
Your big sister 


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